My Journey

Hi there, my name is Meghan. I am a wife to Zane, mom to Morgan, Shayda and Jackson and daughter of the King. I am going to share my journey of faith, food and fitness. After several years of walking in all of this I have decided to actually start sharing my journey that has led me to where I am today. This may be a long one, so hold tight. My hope in sharing is to connect with others that may have similar experiences. Maybe shed some light where there has been darkness, confusion and perhaps defeat.

About 19 years ago I found myself a single mom/business owner, who I believe for the first time had some direction in life. I knew I had a daughter I had to take care of and raise to be a strong, kind, independent woman. I knew I didn’t want to or have time to settle for just any guy. In fact, I had decided it was me and Morgan against the world and I was totally content with that. In walks Zane. To be honest, after hanging out with him and our friends over Memorial Day weekend, I had zero interest in dating him. So a few weeks go by and he calls up to my salon to see if he can get in for a haircut. I say sure. I put him at the end of my day to see if he might ask me to lunch after. He took the bait. This was the beginning of me and Zane. I won’t bore you with details. As I like to tell my girls, Zane was the first person to come into my life that truly respected me. Brought out the best parts in me that I didn’t even know were there. I knew 3 weeks into dating him that I would marry him. Here we are married now almost 18 years. I wouldn’t change a thing.

So, we have another daughter, sell my salon and move to Texas to try to start over. We couldn’t afford to buy a house in California, so Texas it was. We were looking for the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, nice cars…blah, blah, blah. What we didn’t expect is that this is where we would be brought down on our knees, literally, and find our faith. Zane and I bought our 3200 sq ft house, we had our nice cars. About a year after moving to Texas, I decided, after being a self proclaimed athiest most of my life, that I needed to find a church to take my girls. This is where we found community when I was a kid and being alone here in Texas, I thought that may be a place to look, for my girls sake. Now, keep in mind, I had NO intention of looking here for myself. I just wanted to find friends for them. So, I step into the kids area, check the girls in and realize I have no place to go other than walk through the doors of the church and find a seat. Thank God people left me alone and just let me be. So, Matt, the pastor, comes out and the very first thing he says is, “this is an okay place to not be okay.” I still tear up thinking of that moment. I looked around wondering, where am I. Well, I picked up the girls after the serman and they both just loved being there! So, we kept going back week after week.

You see, I grew up my whole life in the Catholic Church where I experienced guilt and shame. Where no one could help me see where God was in tragedy. Keep in mind, I know this is not everyone’s experience with the Catholic Church, it was just mine. August, 30 1982, just 10 days before my 10th birthday, my oldest brother was killed in a tragic car accident. He was the older brother that my parents put in charge of caring for me that summer. He was my protector. He dragged me around everywhere with him and his girlfriend, Laurie. I felt so loved, cared for and so cool! He was 16 and on top of the world. My world was crushed that day! My faith was crushed that day! Over the next several years, I really struggled with school. I was to learn religion, where I chose to debate. I think I irritated my teachers quit a bit. I struggled to make my grades. Not for not trying. However, my struggle with school started the year I lost my brother. My parents and my teachers chalked it up to grief. For the next 8 years. I now realize I was dyslexic. It wasn’t my fault. It just got missed. In all of that, I couldn’t see where there was a God in all of the grief.

So here I am, I have become a regular attender at The Village Church and God slowly starts peeling back the layers. Showing me exactly where He had been through all of it. My heart begins to grow in faith. Knowing Him, trusting Him, loving Him. He becomes my new protector. I find a Homegroup with my Aunt Kathy where I start growing in community and find others of like minds who are mature in their faith. By this time, Zane and I have had Jackson. We are still in our house with our nice cars. I’m sure you are wondering where Zane is in this walk of faith. Ironically and by no accident, Zane is the one who found TVC for us. I always invited him to come along. At this time in our life, “the golf course was his church”. I was so ok with that, knowing my own journey and learning my role in our marriage and learning my own faith. As my faith grew, I hear God tell me it was no longer up to me to care for my family financially. He told me to sit on my hands. As one who has always been provider, this was so hard for me!! Like beyond hard. However, I knew it was what I was called to do. I will never forget Zane callling me to tell me our house was in foreclosure. I definitely surprised him with how calm I was. Heck, I surprised myself. Together, we walk through bankruptcy, foreclosure and loss of our cars. Everything we thought we moved to Texas for. In all of it, it was ok. We moved our three kids into a 1200 sq ft apartment for the next 2 years. In that time, this is where God opened Zanes heart to him. He started asking questions. He eventuallly realized he too was coming to faith and put his trust in Him as well. You see, we had our plan. God just had a better one.

Let me share, this was no walk in the park. There were times I wasn’t sure I could take much more. I was depressed, stressed and had no will to take physical care of myself. I was hanging on. I didn’t think about nutrician. I had no desire for any kind of fitness. The stress was physically eating me alive. Zane through all of this was so concerned and I’m sure at times felt helpless. He always encouraged me without pushing me to find some sort of exercise. Knowing it would only help me. I just had no desire. This is coming from a woman that played soccer all through my youth into my 20’s. When Zane and I first started dating, we either ran or hit the gym most days. Fitness was a part of our life together. I know it had to have been hard on him to watch his partner just give up. I am beyond grateful to him for never giving up on me!

Jackson, my son had to have been about 2 when I had my first episode. I remember running to a local fast food chicken restaurant to grab dinner for the fam. After eating delicious fried chicken, biscuits and creamed corn, I was buckled over in the worst pain for hours. I thought it was a fluke. Well, this was the beginning of having to completely overhaul my nutrician. Granted, it was what felt like a slow process. It took years to figure out what was actually going on. I finally saw my doctor who sent me to the general surgeon thinking it must be my gallbladder. Being uneducated about the purpose of my gallbladder, I went ahead, with the advice of the surgeon and had it removed. I was desperate. By this point I was either buckled over in pain as bad as labor that would last for hours. I mean like 6 to 8 hours. No joke. To vomiting. Well, after the removal, I continued to have issues. My stomach aches would only last 4 to 6 hours. The vomiting got worse. I had cut so many things out of my diet. We are now about 5 years into this. Side note… In this process one of my closest childhood friends shared his wife’s new book with me. Eat Naked by Margaret Floyd. This was certainly a game changer on finding so many answers to nutrician I didn’t know I needed. Well, the weight came off through all of this, my whole family benefitted from my desire to eat better. Knowledge is power! So after opening the door of nutrician , there was no turning back. So, I go to California for my cousins wedding. I end up in the ER. I couldn’t stop vomiting. They couldn’t figure out what was the actual cause and recommended I see a GI when I got home. Well the first place I went was to see Colin, my chiropractor. He was the one I knew I could trust. Turns out, I was definitely having issues with food. He gave me some herbs, which my system was not happy with. However once I got through the hard part, it was the first time in years I didn’t have the constant pain. So from there, I went to the GI. Had an endoscopy and was diagnosed with Eosinophilic esophagitis, or EE for short. I won’t bore you with all the in’s and out’s of this disease. Just that I have about 20 food sensitivities. Praise Him that we finally figured it out!!!!!!! I of course felt sorry for myself at times and threw my pity parties. With having so many foods on my list and not being able to trust going out it was REALLY hard. I would accidentally eat something that would throw me into a full blow episode. Not fun! I have learned so much and I am so grateful. I can honestly say through this journey, my disease has become my super power. This is my food journey so far.

In losing weight, I was now in my early 40’s and skin just doesn’t bounce back like it used to. I started working at a new salon with a group of ladies that were all into fitness. Morgan, the beautiful and very fit 20 something year old with a heart of gold asked me to go to a bar class with her. I wasn’t sure about it. I had never been one into classes. I liked to do my own thing. I went and that was the game changer I needed. It wasn’t easy, but it was doable. I bought a 2 week pass and went 5 days a week in those first 2 weeks. So, I decided, why not and signed up for a year. I gained so much confidence and felt amazing! Now with having my EE under control and getting stronger, my attitude changed. At the end of that year I cancelled my membership for the summer and worked out on my own at home. I did this for about 6 months. I was proud of myself for staying consistent. I knew I couldn’t stop. But I was getting bored. Zane started Crossfit that October. He was getting so much out of it. He, by the way, has always worked out. It’s a part of who he is. Well, he found a totally new way of working out that hit every muscle. The best part is he had found a new community. I wanted that! So that January, I signed up too. I have completely changed everything! A year and a half later, I am now a few months away from 47 and can honestly say I have never felt or looked better. With Crossfit I have learned even more about nutrician. As an athlete, you have to eat differently to fuel your body. At first I was eating the same. Low carb, high protien and fat. I was taking in the same amount of calories. I put on about 15 pounds and not all muscle. Not what I was looking for. I then consulted with our CF owner, Dave, and realized I needed to balance things out a bit and eat more. I still follow all of the same principles that helped me lose weight and get my nutrician solid. I am now more mindful of including the right kind of carbs to balance my protien and fat as well as eating enough. I have shed the weight that was making me fluffy and feel better than ever.

To conclude, this has been years of finding my identity first in God. Which then has allowed me to find freedom in my family’s and my wellbeing. I am so grateful for this journey so far. Like I have shared, it has not been a walk in the park. However, with having a savior, it has made it all bearable. Knowing He’s got me. Knowing I can do anything with Him.

I hope you have maybe been able to relate, be enlightened, be encouraged or all the above.

In Him – Meghan

Psalm 23